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Arts & Letters Daily

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State Exam Two

Exam pictures

Sample A

One day, the children visited a poor old woman. The children repaired the house and painted the walls.

The children cleaned and tidied the house compound.  The poor woman grateful and thanked children. They was very happy.

Feedback

Introduction: YES/NO

  • One day, the children visited a poor old woman.                          

–          Correction:

Body: YES/NO

–          Correction/comment: The Body needs more details about the children’s actions. Use the 5W’s to provide important details.

Conclusion: YES/NO

  • They was very happy.

–          Correction: They were very happy.

5 W’s (who, what, where, when, why)

  • ‘W’ for the main idea: answered the question ‘What’

–          Correction –

  • Use some or all of the other ‘W’s’ in the body – who, when, when, why

–          Who – children, poor old woman

–          When – One day

–          Where – house, house common

–          Correction/comment – too brief more details would improve the paragraph.

Sentence Problem

–          Correction:

–          Correction:

Grammar

  • They was very happy. 

–          Correction: They were very happy. “They” refers to 3rd person plural, therefore the third person verb is needed.

  • The poor woman grateful and thanked children.  Every sentence must have a verb.

–          Correction: The poor woman was grateful and thanked the children.

Comment: You missed the word  “boys”. Do not start each sentence on a new line.

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Sample B

A group of children visited an old woman. She is very poor. She lived in an old broken house. The children were very sad to see the poor woman. They decided to repaired the poor woman’s house. The boys went to the poor woman’s house and started repairing. They changed the broken woods and painted the walls into beautiful colors while the girls cleaned and tidied the compound of the house. Finish repairing, the poor woman was very grateful and happy. She thanked the children. The children were very happy.

Feedback

Introduction: YES/NO

  • A group of children visited an old woman.                        

–          Correction:

Body: YES/NO

–          Correction:

Conclusion: YES/NO

  • The children were very happy.

–          Correction:

5 W’s (who, what, where, when, why)

  • ‘W’ for the main idea: answered the question ‘What’

–          Correction –

  • Use some or all of the other ‘W’s’ in the body – who, when, where, why

–          Who – group of children, old woman

–          When –

–          Where – old broken house

–          Correction – No reference to ‘When’.

Sentence Problems

  • She very poor. Every sentence must have a verb.                     

–          Correction: She was very poor.

  • Finish repairing, the poor woman was very grateful and happy. Past tense of the verb is needed

–          Correction: When they had finished repairing the house, the poor woman was very grateful and happy.

Grammar

  • They decided to repaired the poor woman’s house.  To repair is an infinitive and does not have  the ‘ed’ ending.

–          Correction: They decided to repair the poor woman’s house.

  • They changed the broken woods and painted the walls into beautiful colors while the girls cleaned and tidied the compound of the house.

–          Correction: They changed the broken boards and painted the walls in beautiful colors while the girls cleaned and tidied the compound of the house.

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