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Arts & Letters Daily

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Template IV: Feedback on Comparison Paragraphs

Use the following template to write feedback on the comparison paragraphs.

Format

Introduction (Main idea and the 5W’s) – YES/NO

–          Correction –

Comparison

  • Common set of criteria – YES/NO

–          Correction/comment

  • Alternating or opposing pattern

–          Opposing pattern – – YES/NO

–          Correction/comment

–          Alternating pattern – – YES/NO

–          Correction/comment

  • Conclusion

–          Correction –

  • Key words  for similarities and differences

–          Differences –

–          Correction –

–          Similarities –

–          Correction –

Sentence Problems

–          Correction –

–          Correction –

Grammar

–          Correction –

–          Correction –

********************

Sample A


A The Twin Sisters

Shireen and Penny are twin sisters.  Shireen is a beautiful lady. She work(s) as a clerk in (a) famous bank.  She is as hardworking as (an) ants. She always work(s) late until midnight.  Similarly, Penny is as beautiful as the rainbow.  She work(s) as a teacher in a school.  She is as wise as a(n) owl because she can solves all the problems.  The contrast between Shireen and Penny is their favourite food.  Shireen likes to eat fruit but Penny likes to eat junk food.  That is why Penny is fatter and weaker than Shireen.

Feedback

Introduction (Main idea and the 5W’s) – YES/NO

  • Shireen and Penny are twin sisters.

–          Correction –

Comparison

  • Common set of criteria YES/NO

–          Correction/commentbeauty, work, personal characteristic, food preference

  • Alternating or opposing pattern

–          Opposing pattern – YES/NO

–          Correction/comment Described Shireen first followed by Penny.

–          Alternating pattern – YES/NO

–          Correction/comment

  • Conclusion   YES/NO

–          That is why Penny is fatter than Shireen.

–          Correction –

  • Key words  for similarities and differences – YES/NO

–          Differences – The contrast between Shireen and Penny is their favourite food.

–          Correction –

–          Similarities – beauty, work, personal characteristic,

–          Correction –

Sentence Problems

–          Correction – None

–          Correction –

Grammar

  • She work as a clerk in famous bank.

–          Correction – She work(s) as a clerk in (a) famous bank. The subject ‘she’ is third person singular, so the verb must be third person singular (end with an‘s’) – works.

  • She is as wise as a owl because she can solves all the problems.

–          Correction – She is as wise as a(n) owl because she can solves all the problems.

Comment: You have written an interesting paragraph and your sentences are correct. Well done!

********************

Sample B

Two Best Friends

Ali and Abu are best friends.  Ali is a thin man and about 150cm tall.  He works as a doctor.  He is as hardworking as an ants (ant) because he always works untill (until) midnight.  His hobby is swimming.  In contrast, Abu is a fat man.  He works as a policeman in (the) Tawau Police Station.  He is as busy as a bee when he works.  His hobby is watching television.  The similarity between Ali and Abu are (is) their favourite food.  They like to eat pizza.  So, they go to the Pizza Hut together every Saturday.

Feedback

Introduction (Main idea and the 5W’s) – YES/NO

  • Ali and Abu are best friends.  Good

–          Correction –

Comparison

  • Common set of criteria YES/NO

–          Correction/commentAli is …. In contrast, Abu is ….

  • Alternating or opposing pattern

–          Opposing pattern – YES/NO

–          Correction/comment

–          Alternating pattern – YES/NO

–          Correction/comment

  • Conclusion YES/NO

–          Correction/comment – So, they go to the Pizza Hut together every Saturday.

  • Key words  for similarities and differences

–          Differences – In contrast, Abu is …. Good.

–          Correction –

–          Similarities – The similarity between Ali and Abu ….

–          Correction –

Sentence Problems

–          Correction/comment – Used simple and complex sentences. Well done.

–          Correction –

Grammar

  • The similarity between Ali and Abu are (is) their favourite food.

–          Correction – Explanation: the subject ‘similarity’ is singular, so the verb must be singular (is).

Comment : You have written an interesting paragraph and your sentences are correct.

********************

Sample C

Mei Mei and Lee Lee

Mei Mei and Lee Lee are neighbours.  Mei Mei works as a nurse in a clinic.  She is as busy as a bee because there are many patients in the clinic.  Lee Lee is a teacher, who teaches in SJK (C) Yuk Chin.  She is as hardworking as an ant.  She always finish(es) her job before she sleeps.  The contrast between Mei Mei and Lee Lee is their physical appearance.  Mei Mei is beautiful but Lee Lee is ugly.  Moreover, Mei Mei is tall and slim because she always exercise(s).  However, Lee Lee is fat and weak because she always eat(s) junk food.  That is why  Mei Mei is healthier than Lee Lee.

Feedback

Introduction (Main idea and the 5W’s) – YES/NO

  • Mei Mei and Lee Lee are neighbours.

–          Correction –

Comparison

  • Common set of criteria YES/NO

–          Correction/comment

  • Alternating or opposing pattern

–          Opposing pattern – YES/NO

–          Correction/comment

–          Alternating pattern – – YES/NO

–          Correction/comment

  • Conclusion – YES/NO

–          Correction – That is why Mei Mei is healthier than Lee Lee.

  • Key words  for similarities and differences

–          Differences – The contrast between …. However …

–          Correction –

–          Similarities – hardworking

–          Correction –

Sentence Problems

–          Correction/comments – Used, simple, compound and complex sentences.

–          Correction –

Grammar

  • She always finish(es), she always exercise(s),   she always eat(s).

Correction – The subject ‘she’ is third person singular, so the verbs ‘finish’, ‘ exercise’ and ‘eat’ must be third person singular /ended with an ‘s’/ ‘es’.  The word ‘always’ is only an adverb.